To the Heartbroken

I heard that you’re…settled down..that you..found a girl and you’re married now….

How many of us experience a hurt rush when we start hearing this song? Do you feel like hitting the next button on your phone? Or do you simply appreciate the music? Or do you just listen to it, gasp in the sadness of the meaning and cry a little bit each time you listen to it?
I do. I listen to it and remember how I felt when I was heartbroken. Dipping into random oceans of nostalgia and regrets and insecurities; seeing your ex with someone else being the worst one.
It sucks to have your heart broken. See it break all at once in front of your eyes and feel so helpless because there’s nothing you can do to change things, undo things, nothing at all. It sucks to know that
‘We could have had it all.’
Puffy eyes due to crying all night, giving up on your apetite, resisting yourself from connecting to the one you love in any way, stalking the hell out of their social media profiles and moreover accepting your present, regretting not seeing his bad qualities before; most of us have been there.
Of course, dealing with a heart break has its own perks. I remember becoming stronger, and more alert. The guy I was in love with was practically a jerk throughout but as they say “love is blind” and I just couldn’t see it. Only when I hit the ground I realized how I risked damaging my self worth, my confidence and my feelings for someone who wasn’t worth it.
But in some cases the ones you damage your heart for are absolutely worth it but you lose them because of your stupidity or because of several other reasons. It sucks doesn’t it? I’m sure half of the people who were reading this article have given up because they don’t want to go in that past lane again.
For some, crying never stops. Their ex lovers become a part of their being and it takes someone really special to dig that part out and make them happy yet again.
Dealing with a heart break isn’t easy, it’s harder than any bad experience you thought was difficult to deal with because it involves your heart. A fraction of people are lucky to get the right ones at the right time, but the rest? We’re just learning to become stronger. And that’s okay. Because we will. And we do. And you know what’s the best part? Whatever happened has happened for the good. After all Adele too has found the One hasn’t she?

So here’s to the heart-brokens, to the ones who are dealing with a heartbreak right now, to the ones who have come out stronger than they have ever been before.

Here’s to you. Here’s to you.

I just want to tell you that you are going to get through this, for good
and you’ll find only the right ones waiting for you at the end of your sadness. Just let it go. You have to let yourself let go.

-Wings of Delight©

The Storm

I see a storm in front of me,
Swirling along the wind, Dancing to the tunes of anger and guilt;
It moves like a tornado
t edhat has lost it,
destroying everything it touches
and absorbs every pain.

It sings the sound
of silence,
Oh so quiet, and peaceful,
you can never know when it’s
waiting to ravage you.
You can never know
what its hiding.

I see a storm in front of me,
intoxicated by itself,
maddened, yet calm
Ugly, yet beautiful
Lonely, yet powerful.

I see it moving and
I see a silhouette in it,
a silhouette so distinct
it appears known,
I look closer and see a soul,
a beautiful scarred one,
waiting to explode,
waiting to embrace the storm,
I look closer and
realise the storm is me,
and baby, I will destroy you.

-Wings of Delight©

Picture Credits: Nick Steward (insta handle @nickdrewart)

A huge Thanks to Mr. Stewart, for such a beautiful artwork💜 it was indeed an amazing collaboration.

Fall

You will find her in all those places, when you aren’t really looking. Hidden in the tiny alcove in that dusty library you never bothered to go to, curled up in the tattered wooden seat, reading her favourite book of romantic tradegies. You will find her where you least expect her to be, rummaging through old records, classical music blasting through her shiny new headphones, her rocker chic boots peaking underneath a modest green skirt. You’ll see her on the street, her dyed hair flying this way and that, she will seem a bit clumsy, balancing a stack of comics and a steaming cup of coffee. You’ll always pass her shop on the way to work, when she just opens her bakery and you catch yourself smiling in her direction. You sit besides her, in the too overcrowded train, her inquisitive eyes seeking out stories amongst her fellow passengers that only an observant eye could unearth. Ofcourse, you won’t fall for that clumsy girl, spending all her free time immersed in the fantasy that comics provide. Ofcourse, you won’t fall for that girl who loves classical music yet is spunky enough to give you a run for your money, you won’t fall for that girl you see on your way to work, the one you smile at unconsciously. You won’t fall for that girl, that you occasionally bump into, or share 20 minutes of your commute with. Ofcourse, you won’t fall, because you aren’t looking, you aren’t looking for romance, but love doesn’t come calling with a voicemail to warn you about it’s arrival, it comes whether you want to accept it’s presence or not. Oftentimes it knocks on the door to your heart, when you really aren’t looking. So look, look closer, look into the eyes of the girl whose cheek is always smeared with soft flour, the one you secretly smile at, the one whom you think is too unattainable, too geeky, too spunky, too romantic or the one you seem to always meet. Listen to the girl sitting besides you in the train, chattering about her day. Does it feel like love has come knocking on your door? Does it sound like love?

-WingsofDelight©

The Stranger with a Cigar

“Do you smoke?” A faint whisper reached my ears. I ungazed from the engaging thoughts I was immersed in and looked to my left. Next to me sat a man who looked to be middle aged. There were dark circles below his eyes with a spark over his sharp nose which hinted at the loss of sleep he may have faced of late. He looked like he was trying to study me, a slight smirk curling his handsome face. I tried to come out of my observing trance; forcing myself out of it to prevent any further embarrassment. The man besides me had quite a striking visage, his penetrating eyes giving me the kind of thrill I hadn’t experienced since a while in this new town.

 

“Occasionally,” I said,  “But I don’t carry Cigars to dinner.”

 

“Ah. Just say the word Darling; I carry my cigar collection with me on travel, to share with interesting and beautiful young ladies I meet on my many voyages.” He smiled. Golly, that made me blush to the tips of my toes.

 

“Which one would you like?” He took out a small case containing roughly about 8 Cigars. The bronze colour of the case gave it an antique appearance. By taking a while, I faked a little choice. Finally I picked up the best looking one and smiled at him. “Lovely. Capafina, my personal favourite.”

 

The raucous bar slowly faded out of focus and staring into his charcoal grey eyes, I got wrapped up in his enchanting voice. I didn’t realise how time passed until the sulky bartender interrupted our conversation and told us it was time for him to wind up.

” It seems, the cold night is calling out for me to love her yet again.” He said, “See you around love.” Before I could bid this alluring stranger goodbye he left through the doors, and I headed back to my room upstairs.

 

Maybe the cold night could take a break from loving him tonight; maybe I could love him today. I thought to myself. Never had I felt so enamoured by any man before. He made me feel like a woman without even touching me. How could I just let this mesmerising gentleman go away? Lust made me leave my room and walk towards the way he went. He must have not gone far away, I placated my wildly thudding heart. The quiet night in this town that usually scared me had me lusting after it tonight. I quickened my footsteps and soon spotted a man entering the Delta inn across the street I was walking on. He wore the same luxury brown jacket my stranger had  worn, and was about the same height, I reckoned, I reached the midnight inn finally. My eyes searched for him around the bar. There he was, standing and talking to someone I couldn’t see because of the huge sofa blocking my gaze.I carried myself forward to make my view clearer. It was a lady,who was looking at the collection of his cigars.

 

My passion filled heart quickly became  heavy and I gasped for words to speak,

“What are you ….?”

My shrill voice managed to speak up. He looked behind him and narrowed his eyes. What took me by surprise was to see him smiling, as I fell on the ground. And then I knew no more.

 

 

***

15th of March 1928,

Erickesville.

A woman was found dead under mysterious circumstances at around 1:30 am in the lobby of Delta Inn. The Coroner’s reports revealed the presence of a black tar like substance in her lungs. The workers at the place where she worked as a hostess The Eagle Inn, a place of questionable repute; suggested she was last seen smoking a Cigar alone and was in  quite a jaunty mood.

This is the third death in the past fornight, to rock the quiet neighbourhood of Erickesville. Currently, Mr. Smith the hot headed bartender of Eagle Inn, has been taken into custody by the local Sheriff department.

Timeless, 3 of 3

We didn’t talk as much as we used to, we didn’t love as much as we used to and suddenly I could comprehend your absence and the abject loneliness our love brought. I was still waiting as you asked but the wait was too long and time was wearing us down. Then one spring break we met and time became the silence between once furiously beating hearts, now oh so quite. I couldn’t hear you and you couldn’t read me, our words so twisted and I love yous so hesitant that we decided to break us off. ‘Not now’, ‘now is not the right time for us’, ‘let’s try again’, ‘sometime later’, wasn’t that what we said to each other ? Slowly later became days and months and I was never so aware of the time that passed, each second driving a sharp nail sealing the fate of our love. It didn’t wait for our love to heal, it just moved at it’s relentless pace, changing the hues of our love turning it into a dead and cold thing. I mourned, I lamented the loss of my sunshine, but I learnt to remember what we had with a profound fondness, but I never did let you go, I have to now though. You stayed deep in my heart, in my psyche but each year your hold on me lessened, you don’t own my heart like you once did, time has changed me, my youth has faded to the salt and pepper of middle age. It changed you too, it froze your beautiful smile but you acquired laugh lines on the face I so adored. Time changed your love for me into the friendly warmth of our past. You said you had to let me go a long while ago so that new love could come into your life and now I have to let you go, I have to stop waiting, because you have stopped looking forward to see me waiting for you and your love. Time changed us, changed our not now to not ever, it flowed over the hollow ache in my chest, it taught me to laugh without you, to cry with someone who wasn’t you, it changed the way I looked at you, felt for you, but I don’t regret waiting for you, because even if time took away my lover it gave me back my best friend.

WingsofDelight©

Timeless, 2 of 3

And suddenly time was the wild thudding of my heart, reminding me of all those unsaid words between us, every day, every hour. ‘Not now’, ‘not today’, ‘I will tell her later.’ became the excuses for me to pacify my heart. All of them crumbled down, when I saw you kissing the good for nothing guys who didn’t appreciate your value and all of a sudden time was nothing but the white hot blur of jealousy, urging me to snatch you away and hide you in my arms. It was the time to be brave and tell you, so I did. I told you how much you meant to me, just how much I loved you and you smiled my smile and said that you always knew and were waiting for me to know that too. Unknowingly, I had made you wait but no more, time again ceased to exist, because you were finally mine in every way and time had no place between us. We spent an entire summer wrapped up in each other, doing what we always did, but now with more meaning and an ever growing need to love the other. We made new memories in our old places, making everything about each other. And then in a blink, school was over and we had to say our goodbyes, to go our own ways and follow our dreams. I almost decided to follow you and your dream but you said you never wanted to come between my dreams, you didn’t want for me to regret our love. After much convincing and prodding I grudgingly listened. Afterall distance didn’t matter, and we would be together soon and no one would be able to part us. “Wait for me,” you said. I did and I always would. But time had a way of making it’s presence known, ironically it became the same distance which was spent apart from each other, the silent tears that flowed freely in cold lonely nights, the ache where my heart resided, the empty text messages and the not quite long phone calls. It became a slowly growing divide, taking away the vitality of our beautiful love leaving behind shrivelled and dry husks. It was the poison that ruined our forever. It slowly turned loving words to sharp barbs and small disagreements to long ugly fights. It was the chockhold that snuffed out our romance.

…….

Timeless, 1 of 3

Time; such a funny notion, an irony for me, for us. A bundle of tangled strings and hopes with our relationship intermingling in its flow. When we were young, we didn’t care about something as trivial as time and as we grew, it was meaningless because for us, timeless was what defined our friendship, not smeared, untouched by the hungry grasp of those moving hands of the clock. For as long as I could remember, yours was the first face I saw, just outside my window, riding that yellow bicycle up and down our lane, yelling at me to get up and come to ‘plway’ with you, and who was I to refuse my sunshine ? I remember rushing past everyone in the house, forgetting that I was still in my nightclothes. I didn’t care, because you were there, waiting, quite impatiently I might add and I never ever wanted to make you wait. Summers flew by like the wind that rushed past us when we rode our first bicycles down that favourite slope and our friendship bloomed like those bruises you bestowed upon my shins. We suffered from your Barbie and Ken phase to my awesome ninja make believe games, our friendship survived those silly tantrums and thrived when you bestowed my blushing cheek with a kiss from your puckered lips. From the first day of school and through our first girlfriends and boyfriends, you were there and so was I. We were always there for each other and it felt that time stood still when we were together and moved slowly and painfully only when we fought. I could never be angry with you for long, you were too important, too precious for me to even comprehend your absence. It was the last year of school and something did move between us, the strings of time pulling our hearts together, because each time you were near me, my heart beat faster than before, your smiles affected me and suddenly I understood how little time I had, to tell you, that something was very wrong or perhaps something was very right and for the first time I understood what exactly it was that made you so special, that I was falling deeply, that I was in love, with you.

…….