I was taught as a kid to be nice to people. Smile even though the person in front of you makes you feel uncomfortable. Talk when you are asked a question. Never raise your voice. Keep quite and be a good little girl. Good girls are rewarded and if you were bad you would be beaten up like Mommy, when she did something to incur the wrath of Daddy. My only solace were the bedtime stories my mommy told me to make me sleep better. I used to pretend I was a princess, and one day a perfect prince would come riding up on his horse and rescue me. But never in my young naive life I thought that one day I would face true horror like Big bad wolf in Red Riding Hood and that drug that Witch used to sedate Snow White.
I wanted to live a fairy tale too,
Live happily with a family which filled me with joy and laughter.
Have my Prince Charming save me, and marry him. But alas I wasn’t a princess, and I was reminded of it over and over again as I was tricked into believing that I was leaving my house for good, to study in the city of dreams, only to end up washing clothes and being hit at a tender age, from monsters that explored my delicate undeveloped body “It will feel good”, they said , if I resisted they threatened to kill me. Day by day they reminded my place. I was a worthless slave for them.
As I grew older, I wanted to run, and one day I did, stumbling upon the kindest man I met in a long time, he seemed to understand me and all my traumas. Soon I was smitten by the way he treated me, like I was a princess, “Marry me”, he said and I was jubilant, love really was true!
But one day my hopes were to be crashed again, wanting to surprise him I came home early once , only to see him make a deal to sell me, it reminded me of the monsters I faced in my past, heart and trust broken in the cruelest of ways, I ran and ran.
And this time, I did not stumble upon any angel. I stumbled upon a mirror. A reflection which showed me all my scars, and woke up within me a fiery need to get them all healed. Eyes, which wanted vengeance, and justice from all those dark deals.
And thus in me, arose that kid again, that wanted to live.
And I wanted to live my life again, on my own terms.
This time I didn’t need a Prince Charming, I just needed myself,
To write my own fairy tale.
Afterall, not all princesses require a prince . Sometimes you have to be your own saviour.