I am, You.

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I am just like you, all of you, all at once. I am the million emotions that dance so ceaselessly in your eyes, the smiles that flit from one face to another, the frowns that you grace others with, the tears you cry when you think no one watches you, I am the anger that simmers underneath the surface of your fake porcelain smiles, the resentment you feel, the disappointments that cloud your happiness, I am the pain that you desperately try to hide. I am a thousand thoughts, countless dreams of nameless faces. I sag and wither like the guilt you feel, I droop down like the despair which makes you hollow and haunted, yet I also rise like the hope you feel each day, what is yours, is also mine. I am each of you and each of none, the tiny broken pieces of your illusions, or the prickling shards of your honesty and truth. I am the bitterness of your jealousy, and the haze of your lust. I see you, living your fast lives, I see your masks of indifference, of half truths and half lies. I see how you live, in shadows, playing at cloak and dagger, I see the fumes of suffocation creeping along the persona you have built around yourself, you try to blend in, yet I still hear your silent shouts of ‘ notice me’ , ‘don’t let me rot away and die’. So I become you, the one you try so hard to shield and protect. I have to live like you to make you, each tale resurrecting your love, your heart and your situations.
Each time I write of you , I have to kill the parts of me that aren’t you, to understand you, I have to be your lover, your love, sometimes the one who cheated on you, or the whom you cheated upon. I am a million strings, untethered, I am a wanderer in search of the dreams I see in your eyes, I travel to find your homes for you in each tale I spin. I tangle your lives with my bloodline, because in that infinite second I have seen you, the real you, I have seen the raw emotions flowing through your veins, those that you couldn’t hide from a stranger, a faceless mask, who knew just what to look for. I find so much in you, the bad, the wonderful, the hurtful, all those shades of anger, of deep longing, of exhaustion, of greed, of life, of zeal and of immense courage. I see your needs, of not going unnoticed, the fear of being useless, the abject hunger to be recognised, and then I write of you, those who can’t be unseen once seen, then I write of the real you, the one who doesn’t want to be washed away from the sands of time, I write of you, for you, all of you.

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WingsofDelight©

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To the Heartbroken

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I heard that you’re…settled down..that you..found a girl and you’re married now….

How many of us experience a hurt rush when we start hearing this song? Do you feel like hitting the next button on your phone? Or do you simply appreciate the music? Or do you just listen to it, gasp in the sadness of the meaning and cry a little bit each time you listen to it?
I do. I listen to it and remember how I felt when I was heartbroken. Dipping into random oceans of nostalgia and regrets and insecurities; seeing your ex with someone else being the worst one.
It sucks to have your heart broken. See it break all at once in front of your eyes and feel so helpless because there’s nothing you can do to change things, undo things, nothing at all. It sucks to know that
‘We could have had it all.’
Puffy eyes due to crying all night, giving up on your apetite, resisting yourself from connecting to the one you love in any way, stalking the hell out of their social media profiles and moreover accepting your present, regretting not seeing his bad qualities before; most of us have been there.
Of course, dealing with a heart break has its own perks. I remember becoming stronger, and more alert. The guy I was in love with was practically a jerk throughout but as they say “love is blind” and I just couldn’t see it. Only when I hit the ground I realized how I risked damaging my self worth, my confidence and my feelings for someone who wasn’t worth it.
But in some cases the ones you damage your heart for are absolutely worth it but you lose them because of your stupidity or because of several other reasons. It sucks doesn’t it? I’m sure half of the people who were reading this article have given up because they don’t want to go in that past lane again.
For some, crying never stops. Their ex lovers become a part of their being and it takes someone really special to dig that part out and make them happy yet again.
Dealing with a heart break isn’t easy, it’s harder than any bad experience you thought was difficult to deal with because it involves your heart. A fraction of people are lucky to get the right ones at the right time, but the rest? We’re just learning to become stronger. And that’s okay. Because we will. And we do. And you know what’s the best part? Whatever happened has happened for the good. After all Adele too has found the One hasn’t she?

So here’s to the heart-broken, to the ones who are dealing with a heartbreak right now, to the ones who have come out stronger than they have ever been before.

Here’s to you. Here’s to you.

I just want to tell you that you are going to get through this, for good
and you’ll find only the right ones waiting for you at the end of your sadness. Just let it go. You have to let yourself let go.

-Wings of Delight©

Do you Love me?

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“Do you Love me?”, there it was out in the open. When I look back I still feel those butterflies of mixed emotions I felt when these words tumbled out from my lips. It wasn’t like I couldn’t ask, it was more like the time wasn’t right, certainly not with you breathing into my neck while I sat on your lap as you played our song on the piano; my favourite one which you wrote for me. The ardour with which you kissed me made me perceive so many emotions simmering behind your eyes. Was any of it love? Should I have let you have me without knowing where we were going? The dull pounding of the rain outside couldn’t drown out that one question, which was many times on the tip of my tongue, just waiting to be asked especially when you made me feel that you cared enough, when you made me feel alive in so many ways. I always fooled myself to believe, that I wasn’t affected by you, that I was incapable of love when I did, I loved you so much that I couldn’t get you out of my system, you were there in my blood, your sweet words ringing in my heart, each touch burning me, brighter with so much of passion. I would always want more of you, especially now when you broke down all my walls with a mere glance and undressed all my fears, so that I was bared to you, with all my vulnerabilities out in the open. Did you want me? Did you have a need for me, as I have for you? So I couldn’t help myself but ask you the one thing I even denied myself from ever wanting to hear, “I just want to know,” Now be brave, just this once, please, please say that you do, “Do you Love me?”

Because I do.

WingsofDelight©

A Volcano of Emotions

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I feel a volcano of emotions
trying to explode out of your heart,
to be able to live like that,
is surely a piece of art.

Those teasing smirks that hide your shades of jealousy; quench the fire in your eyes,
And the way you look at me, it’s a gentle reminder of the vehemence of passion that you have for me.

Tell me about all your vulnerabilities,
I want to help you get over them,
Talk to me about your weaknesses,
I want to protect you from them,
Show me your desperate side and tell me what I mean to you,
I want to let my tears tell you what you mean to me.
Just let that pride fade away,
and give your heart to me,
Baby with me it’ll forever stay safe.

WingsofDelight©
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The Ultimate Quest

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Often we find ourselves when we stand at the edge of a giant precipice. The voices of the past fade out, the darkness in the soul recedes, even the giant gaping hole of pain and misery does not overpower our decision. We know nothing awaits us down below the yawning crevice, but is knowing the only thing that can satisfy? We crave that deep satisfaction of experiencing the thrill of the downfall, our descent into something probably greater than ourselves. Loosing onself to find out the crux of the matter, finding our truth hidden beneath the masks we wear to protect the cracks on our soul. We can’t jump without the burden of these masks weighing us down, with the walls built so high and sturdy, how will the heart soar and the body fly? That tantalising pull of the unknown reels us in, the choice is simple, never knowing something which can’t be unearthed unless explored or attempting to atleast understand and skim the surface of the mysteries of life, to dive headlong without any masks, mysteries and survival tools, trusting you with yourself, knowing that the mind once possesed is limitless and hoping that you will emerge out of the abyss, a light awaiting ahead, a soft gentle glow which brings out the best in you, the parts of you, which makes you; you, the parts which the darkness could not rob. Knowing all this, still willing to take the plunge already makes you better than you were before you were faced with the choice of choosing to live your life, the way you want or the way others make you want to


WingsofDelight©

I don’t miss you.

Nowadays I don’t miss you the way I used to miss you. My hand still curls around the soft pillow besides my side, looking to touch the soft strands of your copper curls, only to realise there is nothing to hold on to, but I don’t miss you as I used to before. Sometimes I catch myself smiling at the little things you used to love, like putting heaps of sugar in the always too strong coffee or eating cake just for the sake of the chocolate icing, but I don’t miss you like before. The seasons change and I always visit the place we used to meet up at, that old park with the rusty swings and broken benches, I sit down on the one we claimed was ours, the old chipping paint still showing the heart enclosed by our intials, that you made with my then new keychain, but still I don’t miss you now as I used to miss you before. It’s winter now, and the beautiful snowfall reminds me of the times we laughed and played in the snow, till we were breathless and rosy cheeked, then quietly sipped our hot chocolate wrapped up in the too big ridiculous red sweater you knitted, I still wear it now, it still is too big for me but perfect for us both as you claimed once, but I don’t miss you the way I missed you before. Everytime I open the wooden box, full of keepsakes and old crinkled letters, stained and dog eared, there in every scratchy scrawl and the loppy letters I have your words, you know, you were one of a kind, my dear, insisting on writing letters just because it was more romantic, you always were a goof. But how I treasure them now, each word bringing back your smile, each I love you, each I miss you bringing back the precious moments where we lived for a lifetime. It is like I hear you when I read them, hoping that you will respond to my whispered echoes of your name, pretend that we are together and you are laughing at me or scowling at the particularly dreadful thing I had done that day, or just you are simply there, wrapped up in my arms, the too big sweater keeping us warm; or with me again when I sit and read on our claimed spot, on that rusty old bench, carved with our heart promising forever, or with me when a kid accidently throws a snowball, and I turn around hoping that you would be ready with a snowball of our own, or with me when my hand reaches out across on the other side of the bed, so cold in so many days, just wishing that for once the hand curls around the lively copper strand like it used to, or with me when I reach across for the remote, expecting you to fight me for what we were going to watch. But you know what; I don’t miss you as I used to before, how can I ? When you are there in everything I do, in everything I am and always will be, how can I miss you, when you haven’t gone, when the pillow besides my side still faintly smells of your fragrance, when I still have the keychain that carved our always, tell me love, how can I miss something, when I don’t want to move on?

-Wings of Delight

Untamed Love

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A love that loves with an untamable passion, spreading like wildfire in the veins of those who love; a love which plants the seeds of care, trust and loyalty deep within the soul, fanning the flames of lust, incinerating all the harshness, rejoicing in the reverberations of euphoria and standing firm when everything else crashes and burns. A love that perseveres, blooming and glowing, growing old and sturdy, unshakeable and enduring long after the lovers themselves turn to bones and dust; a love that clinges and lingers like the soft echoes of hearts twined so closely; that is the kind of love remembered when everything else fades into a void of darkness. That is the kind of love which transcends all rhyme or reason, that is the kind of love not understood but felt, that is the kind of once in a lifetime true love; moulding immortals out of mere mortals.
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WingsofDelight©